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Writer's pictureEaston Gaines, MSEd, PsyD

WHAT skills: DBT informed Mindfulness

Have you ever felt like your mind is on autopilot, reacting to everything without a pause? End your commute with little memory of beginning it? Same. Mindfulness might be the key to snapping back into yourself. It offers a way to take hold of your mind, build attentional control, and engage with life more intentionally. It’s not about perfection or turning off your thoughts—it’s about learning to notice, observe, and respond with more awareness.



Taking Hold of Your Mind: Full Awareness and Attentional Control

At its core, mindfulness is about attentional control—training your brain to focus on what’s happening right now. Think of it like going to the gym for your mind. The more you practice bringing your attention back to the present moment, the stronger your ability to focus becomes. But just like physical exercise, it’s a practice, not a one-time fix. You will get distracted. You will lose focus. The key is to gently guide your attention back without judgment. This is how we build mental resilience.


Mindfulness is about showing up for your life, moment by moment, even when things are messy or hard. It’s about developing a skill set that allows you to notice what’s happening in your mind and body, without immediately reacting or getting swept away.


Why Mindfulness?

So why does mindfulness matter? For starters, it creates space between stimulus and response. Instead of reacting to every emotion, thought, or urge that comes your way, mindfulness allows you to pause, assess, and choose a more effective response.


Without mindfulness, you’re not the driver—your emotions and thoughts are driving, and you’re just along for the ride. With mindfulness, you regain control of the wheel. It’s not about suppressing your feelings; it’s about being aware of them so you can respond wisely rather than impulsively. When you’re mindful, you engage more deeply with the world around you—your relationships improve, your work becomes more meaningful, and your overall sense of well-being increases. Mindfulness helps you tap into your wise mind, that balanced place where logic and emotion meet.



The "What" Skills: The Building Blocks of Mindfulness

"What" skills of mindfulness are the practical, step-by-step actions you can take to build mindfulness into your daily life. The "What" skills are simple but powerful—Observe, Describe, and Participate. Each skill plays a unique role in helping you take hold of your mind and engage with life more intentionally.


1. Observe

At first glance, observing seems easy, right? You’re just noticing what’s going on. But it’s not as passive as it sounds. Observing is about paying close attention—without getting caught up in what you notice. Think of it like watching a movie. You’re aware of what’s happening on the screen (or in your mind), but you’re not jumping into the movie and becoming a character.


In your daily life, observing might mean noticing the physical sensations of stress building in your body, or recognizing when your thoughts start spiraling into worry. The key is to observe without trying to change or judge what you see. You’re simply noticing, like a scientist gathering data.


2. Describe

Once you’ve observed, the next step is to describe what you’re noticing. This is where you put words to your experience. You might say to yourself, “I’m feeling frustrated,” or “I’m having a thought that I can’t handle this situation.”


Describing isn’t about over-analyzing or storytelling. It’s about stating the facts of your experience, almost as if you’re narrating it for someone else. When you describe what’s happening, you create distance between you and the experience, which helps reduce reactivity. You’re no longer in the storm; you’re observing it from a safe distance.


3. Participate

The final "What" skill is participating—this is where mindfulness turns into action. Participating means throwing yourself fully into whatever you’re doing, without overthinking or holding back. You’re fully engaged in the present moment, whether you’re having a conversation, working on a project, or simply enjoying your surroundings.


When you participate, you’re not worrying about how you look or what others might think. You’re just in it. This is the state of flow—where time seems to melt away, and you’re completely absorbed in what you’re doing. The beauty of participation is that it helps you let go of self-consciousness and fear, allowing you to fully experience life as it happens.


 

So, how do you get started? Pick one "What" skill to focus on today. Maybe it’s observing your thoughts during a stressful moment or describing a challenging emotion. Whatever it is, remember that mindfulness is a practice. The more you show up, the more you’ll notice the benefits—not just in how you manage your emotions but in how you show up for your life.

Over time, you’ll find yourself stepping more into wise mind, navigating life with greater clarity, emotional balance, and purpose.

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